I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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