i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
