If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
