Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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