I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
