where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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