Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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