I wish I could teleport
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
