There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Randomize
