I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
My ass is underappreciated
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
