But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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