I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
