I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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