Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
