all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
