nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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