I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
