idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
