She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
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