Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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