i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize