it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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