I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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