Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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