Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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