dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I am one with the molecules
Randomize
