At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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