he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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