Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
