It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
