I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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