She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
