I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
