Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
