Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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