P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Is it because I queefed?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
