We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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