Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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