Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
