KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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