im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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