She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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