If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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