Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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