is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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