Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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