that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
