she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
