discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
