so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Randomize
