two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
