also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
