If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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