Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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