U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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