like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Operation Purity has been aborted
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize