my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
